What's it called when you use a pay toilet in France? WebThe man says, imma just teac. Whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Q. 12. Q. 4. So mind your pees in queues. He kneaded a poo. Humptys Dump. 5. Urine it to win it? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the heat. 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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? 82. Outlaws are wanted. Some men say they dont wear their wedding band because it cuts off circulation. 1. 44. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) To get to the bottom. What is crunchy and says meow? We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word who excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? What did the convenience store clerk say to the customer who asked if they had a public restroom? I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. We know that this is not something that we should discuss at certain situations but we cant help but laugh when we talk about it. . ), 15+ Ridiculously Funny Dinosaur Jokes To Laugh and Rawr 2023, 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We All Can Relate To, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Everyone has an embarrassingly funny experience with poop. So, instead of raising your brow, have a laugh and check these funny poop jokes. There was a birthday potty! Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. Poop. We definitely have more for you. the New York Jets cocktail? 23+ Hilarious Funny Clean Jokes that are beyond funny! We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. A. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. 64. Q. 6. She was a party pooper. 3. A. Urine Trouble! What do you call a magical poop? Toilet jokes arent my favorite A. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. What do you call a non-religious urologist? 11. Q. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 We know you cant. 6. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Q. 54. Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. If theres one seat that everyone sits on, its the toilet. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. What is the most popular type of bathroom joke? A. This is really rough. It became a problem because it kills the flowers. Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? I heard a couple guys laugh and others going 'oh for fuck sake mate! Because he was looking for Pooh! . To make it to the bottom! Why couldnt the pirate play cards? 36. Poop Puns One Liners. What does Superman call his bathroom? What do you call a pirate that skips class? 2. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. We've been through a lot of shit together. Urologists have been blessed with golden opportunities, know how to go with the flow, and make the lives of their patients a wee bit better. 62. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? Did you hear they arrested the devil? 75. Because he only deals with in-continent patients. Poodini. the cat who ate a ball of yarn? What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? Q. What do you get when blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal? Number 1 and number 2, What do you call a fairy in the bathroom? Advertisement. Why did the Scotsman have to see an urologist? They both deal with a lot of crap. So that men can tell if they're coming or going! She leaves me with the feeling that when we bury the hatchet shell mark the exact spot. A rich man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. So we have listed clean, funny and easy-to-get jokes about poop that your 4 year olds can relate to. What do you call a mustache soaked in urine? These funny poop jokes will make you giggle in so many levels. The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. A. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Check out our collections of cheesy pickup lines and our ever-popular dad jokes. 85. Because he liked to play with balls. It got stuck in the crack! Whether tis nobler in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention. Q. 28. I actually like poop jokes. What happened after Grandpa got a prescription for Viagra? 74. But theyre a solid number 2. Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Q. Q. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Now you say, Control freak who?. You look flushed! Sir Loin. Please fill in your e-mail so we can share with you our top stories! What did the bottle of conditioner do to the toilet? My love for you is like diarrhea. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. He was a whiz kid. Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Q. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. Q. Nothing better to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up. Because it was afraid of its bark! He looked down to the floor and said : it's running down my legs, A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. Knock, knock. Probably 40 of the little suckers. You are signed up for our newsletter! The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Why is it called a urine test? Did you hear they arrested the devil? 4. 32. In the baaa-throom. A device with a prick on both ends. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? ", Can anyone answer this riddle? I'd say urine for a real treat.". 86. It leaked so they had to release it early. 1. If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee test to get his job. Can you explain this? The man replies,Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? Q. Captain Hooky. To look for Pooh! What do you call Santas helpers? What degree do you need to examine video urine samples made at various resolutions? Heard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Stinker Bell! #2 will surprise you! Ill give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! A whizzard. He just wanted a little more space. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Q. 76. I hate spelling errors. 60. We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. My lion impression went down well a roaring success. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Knock, knock. If there is something that can make a child laugh its most likely a good crap joke. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. A. This goes right up there for proudest moment of my life, next to saving a child from a burning building. My father is allergic to cotton. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Why were there balloons in the bathroom? ", Where does the Batman go to pee? Because it's also called a restroom! They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. 5. They go through a lot of shit. Why didn't the urology student finish his studies? Q. Funny One-Liners 1. What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? 34. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He can charm the pants off just about anyone! A joke does not have to be long, to be funny. A hardened criminal. ), 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments. Ctrl+P They both deal with a lot of crap. Yeah, they got him on possession. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) What did one DNA say to the other DNA? I think it was a dandy lion. Among the things that are so simple even a child can operate them are parents. How did the hospital basketball league end the season? 98. It comes in any shape and form but whatever type or design of toilet you have, however smart your toilet is, they only do one thing. 16. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? 53. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Well, you either stink or swim! Statistician: a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. Control freak. They both deal with a lot of crap. ', Are you the one who signed up for the pee drinking club because if so urine. Now, he's wishing for a dry pocket Q. Q. Haha, you just said poo-poo! Turns out he was full of shit. 3. Then the agents says that not fair. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Q. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! A. What did the zookeeper say after the python broke free? A new study shows that one-third of people dont floss, while the other two-thirds couldnt answer with all the local anesthetic in their mouths. Laugh more: Banana jokes that are totally ap-peeling. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? What happened when the guy mixed up his depression medication with Viagra? What is the difference between orthopedic doctors and urologists? Q. We've been through a lot of shit together. Urine trouble. What do women and toilet paper have in common? Nothing, if you're a dickhead. A. Peers. I had to put my foot down. 17. And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? He was a lion thief. The Times are rough. Distinguished and well-know. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Wanna hear a poop joke? When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called? Another thing that happened the same day was I took an opened bag of bird feed out of the closet to pull the carpet up and when I looked at it a bit later, I saw beetles all over the bag and crawling on the counter where I had set it. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? Q. Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Q. Wanna hear a poop joke? Your email address will not be published. is it a bow-wowel movement? Ctrl+P If you have to force it, its probably crap. The volcano exploded because it couldnt find a lava-tory. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it. It runs in your genes. A. It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. 93. Theyll make your cheeks hurt. Why is it so hard to train a French bulldog? It was Chewie. She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator. 1. 2023, 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! What does a man desperate to urinate do in a room full of arrogant people? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. OUCH! The picked up the phone and said. Why is sperm white and urine yellow? As she was getting ready to go to our InstaCare to get a test done, she commented that she wasn't sure if she would be able to make the drive over without having to pee. One. Whats something great about poop jokes? All these years he'd been letting potential income slip through his fingers. 8. Did you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a beverage? A. Urine trouble with your wife. Q. Why did the urologist cross the road? A. Urologists only work on one bone. Pee, therefore queue. Bowl-ing! Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? . 56. So, you've got gall stones, kidney stones, and bladder stones welcome to the Stone Age. Funny One-Liners 1. What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? Its called wedding cake. See you in the Email! What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. Not a joke Wear Depends! Come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. A. 84. To pee, or not to pee, that is the question. A. Knock, knock. A. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? So mind your pees in queues. To get to the bottom! The bathroom is over there on your left. Police were called to a sperm bank yesterday, after the receptionist was reportedly shot in the face. Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? Did you hear about the constipated composer? Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. A. He then says,Wait. My boss told me to get it together. He didnt have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. A. Urine. 3. 2. A tee-totaler. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Ctrl+P A. Why is the cat so grouchy? Son: No, not yet. To cover their butt quacks. Why were there candles on a toilet seat? One has the paws before the claws, and the other has the clause before the pause. Subordinate Clauses. I love my toilet. Q. So Im sure youll like them. What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery? Europe who? An old man gets the call from the IRS 1. 68. What did the guy call it when he dropped his ED drugs? 2. It leaked so they had to release it early. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Why didnt the Tenth Doctor like potty training as a kid? I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." He looks like a leopard now. Q. A. Q. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. I feel bad for toilets. Yeah, they got him on possession. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night. Interviewer to job applicant: Can you come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of the house?. He worked it out with a pencil. Knock, Knock! What does Woody say when he has bad gas? Its part of an anti-litter campaign. 3. ", The cop asks, "So what did you do about it? Airport security wouldnt let it through. I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye. The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet. Why was six afraid of seven? 71. 6. The agent jumps up and down and says, haha! My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. 49. A. He couldnt hold it in. Darn tootin'! Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? Conscience: the small voice that makes you feel smaller. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. 5. 2. What do a clowns farts smell like? Love sharing with your friends and family? This one is just childish. Because he was dribbling. Uncle: oh I'll deal with it. 29. "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." Ayatollah. It is even better when his friends are around. 69. I come again and pee twice. The man says I'll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird? 'Cause he had a wee bit of a problem. 59. Why did the toilet seat cry? There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. I had to text my wife about that one. Shampoo. Did you know a banana is really good against diarrhea? I had to put my foot down. In honor of Readers Digests 100th anniversary, weve collected 100 jokes, puns, and funny one-liners that are short, sharp, and easy to deliver. More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles | Bee Jokes | Beer Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Colorado Jokes | European Travel Jokes | Fit Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | | Money Puns | Music Jokes | Police Puns | Monster LOLs | Pot Puns | River Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | | Shrink Humor | Soup Jokes | Space Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Tex-Mex Puns | Travel Jokes |. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. Because eye doctors dilate! As I was working, I was listening to Parliment Funkadelic on Pandora and I came to the realization that I was listening to P-Funk as I was dealing with pee funk. What does Woody say when he has bad gas? To get to the bottom! Poop Jokes? We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. Q. A. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? A. Please add a link to this article. No matter how he tried, everything just kept getting harder and harder. He just couldnt budget. What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee? Nothing more refreshing to a cat on a hot day, than a mice cream cone. 1. Doing their doodie. It runs in your genes. Poop-corn! Q. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. How are urinals made functional? I couldnt tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside. A. 9. 57. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. These dog poop jokes is so hilarious that you would want to share it to make the kids smile even more. Q. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. After he rubbed it a genie came out and said "You have 10 seconds to have one wish". Required fields are marked *. 35. Funny one-liners. To pee what was on the other side. Nobel, so I knock knocked. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Elementary. Coming and Going. Because it's afraid of #2! I saw a sign today that made me piss myself..It said. Why shouldn't you ever pee in Clear Creek near Golden, Colorado? Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Your kidney stone test came back. 4. Q. Dereliction of doodie. Ninja farts are silent but extremely deadly. The bathroom is over there on your left. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. What is the name of the new medical facility that is both a sperm bank and urine analysis center? Weve also snuck in a few cringeworthy jokes among these funny one-liners, so be warned. A. Urethra! We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. A. MyCocksaFloppin. A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! A. Why did the rooster cross the road? Why was Eeyore down the toilet? Why do urologists always seem so selfish? Here are some bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things during bath time. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? You're out! Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? Ayatollah you already. Theyve been treating me like one of the family, and Ive put up with it for as long as I can. What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house? 2. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Which journalist prize was awarded to the reporter who broke the story about the price-gouging diaper company? The smile looks really good on you. A. A guy just found out you can sell sperm to a sperm bank. Well, urine luck! The genie grants his wish. Me: We just passed a rest stop too He has pills he can take, but he cant get them out of the bottle. We've been through a lot of shit together. 3. Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. A polar bear. Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. the racing snail that got rid of his shell? Still craving more? With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! 78. Everyones gonna take all the nasal spray from every store. Too many cheetahs. A. The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,So weve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Unless you have diarrhea. Process of Elimination. If a dog goes to poop, A few minutes later Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! A. I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. Keep it flush with the wall. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? Why are there no bathrooms in some banks? A. The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Looking for jokes about the urinary system? Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? 67. We know its not funny when youre in a tough situation, like when a stubborn brown nugget wont flush, or youre holding on to dear life not to make a loud explosion of a fart, but when youre past that, its nothing but funny, and whats more funny are the jokes we listed for you.
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