They were (and still are) very young at the time of us meeting. They manage a hostile internal voice so it is hard to pay attention to anything else.Many can be clever, judging or sizing up a person or a social situation. If youve been on the receiving end of this kind of communication you already know how hurtful and destructive it can be. And that has nothing to do with her husband. And she has no intention of stopping.It goes against every clich about extramarital affairs. Hello everyone. male He is well liked by my family and friends, a good husband, a good father and best friend. This applies to women too. 2. Dont resist, dont complain; and above all, never think he underestimates you. We were best friends and shared so many interests. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. The husband didn't talk much but he was a steady man. Promote some healthy distance. She enjoys using the cheating space to do things that are scary in real life.Kerner admits that its a cruel irony. Edith is long time BS, of the "My husband has been cheating for 10 years withvarious women and I'm just going to monitor his behaviour obsessively as, providing hes not emotionally involved, its all good" fame. Communication is a central part of every marriage. Cara*, 22, who describes her battle with her abusive ex here, explains how her abuser hid his volatile side from everybody else easily: In front of his friends, fraternity, and family he came off as normal and a good guy; but as soon as the doors would close his anger would take over and his persona was completely different. But when we finally take off the pink glasses, we realize that ideal marriage doesn't exist. The bold, the creative, the musician, the introspect. Because of this reason it bothers me when my husband's mother continues to be EXTREMELY friendly with my husbands ex wife, knowing she has poisoned his daughter's mind and has said so many negative things and lies about my husband. For at least 2 years now, I haven't felt attracted to him or in love with him. I have never seen a WS on here show so little genuine remorse and so much selfishness. My affair fog ended when I found out , that my lover and mecouldn't be together in any kind of relationship or marriage. Truth is a foreign concept to the narcissist. When someone cheats in a good marriage, its often the very qualities that make the marriage good that create the vulnerability to infidelity.An affair is easier than marriageIt sounds counterintuitive, but part of the reason many women are drawn to affairs isnt because of the danger, or the thrill of doing something forbidden. If you think therapy would be a good idea, then by all means undertake it as part of what will hopefully be a transformation to a better life. He is firm on his stands and so am I. But I do not want to break my husband's heart and leave him because he adores me and our child. Affairs are rarely about sex.So what are they about then? However, I wouldn't be the person I am today without experiencing those events. I dont doubt that he was supportive, that he loved you, that he valued your family. pack a bag with you and your childs important documents,changes of clothes and spare food. The Perfect WFH Pants & 5 More Things Im Obsessing Over This Month. It stills shocks me to see how I , myself threw everything I had for some silly fantasies. You can get advice on potty training, talk about breastfeeding, discuss how to get your baby to sleep or ask if that one weird thing your kid does is normal. Even a great husband is bound to mistakes but when he does, he doesnt deny them but rather admits he was wrong and works to repair the damage hes done. This is a huge step b/c before, he had told me that he would not go to a counselor because it was a problem of . Help him understand that you're not always looking for a solution. My senses to reality came after my realization and I snapped out of the affair fog. X Research source. You stop expecting others to understand. He wants people to think he is better than they are, and that includes you - especially you. He's no longer interested in intimacy. He has stood by me during good and bad times, especially bad times. So, to get him off my back, I give in. #ComingSoon #Filmlife #Writer #Director #storyteller #marriage #marriageissues #counseling #movies Photo credit: @carlamjohnsonphotography, A post shared by C. Nathaniel Brown (@cnathanielbrown) on Sep 7, 2016 at 5:02am PDT. A covert narcissist husband is a poor listener. It was horrible. After completing my 18th, I stated earning my own money by doing petty jobs alongside my education. I will not. I am reluctant to sign the divorce papers and I am planning to not sign the until he gives me a chance. If your husband is concerned for your safety and hes always making sure that youre well taken care of, both physically and emotionally, youve won the lottery! True story#tagyourfriends #tag #badmarriage#internationalmemes #funnymeme #marriage, A post shared by The International Memes (@theinternationalmemes) on Jun 28, 2017 at 8:25am PDT. Husband picks apart my biodaughter and thinks his daughter is perfect Submitted by BuzyMama84 on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 2:14pm Forums: Blended Family Issues When my husband and I met 3 years ago, we each had a daughter that we brought to the relationship. The company YouPorn is celebrating the one-year anniversary of its Erotica category with an array of erotic fiction pieces by highly celebrated international authors. A great husband will always be there for you when you need him. Ask for forgiveness if youve made a mistake and tell him youre open to listening to him and forgiving him. Someone who isnt loyal to your husband that can tell you if you are overreacting or not (which I doubt you are). If somebody is cheating on their spouse, we assume they must be miserable. I'm not sure if this is the best place to post this. This included buying a desk, a chair, and will soon include buying a desktop monitor. I am going through a crisis of my life and need some help in figuring things out. Having thoughts like "My husband hates me!" is probably not something you anticipated when you committed to marrying them. He doesn't respect your relationship. Create communication opportunities. Well, nobodys perfect, but these signs will tell you if your husband is one of the good ones. Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit 2 with the other. Pick yourself up. So you get to blow up the marriage after years of forcing your husband to go sexless, because you still wanted to be with the OM and now even more years later dont have the emotional intelligence to sign the papers? It's the lack of oxygen in the air, it's gravity. If your husband possesses these qualities, you have a wonderful man in your life. Women get by on Subtle Relations and Communication Men Don't Do BOTH of you a favor and let him go. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. He makes disrespectful comments to your face and behind your back. I made him his favorite chocolates. On her website, psychotherapist Debra Holland suggests sitting down with your husband and being direct with him about how unhappy his pessimism is making you. I had a rough childhood . Nobody ever would have guessed it. You will begin to feel he's the best, not knowing he's another beast in human clothing. Since a big source of self-esteem for your husband is knowing that he pleases his wife, consider being happy to see him whenever you do. I think that made him more dangerous. Does it matter to you at all that he doesn't want you back? My mother met him for the first time today and pulled me aside to tell how much she liked him and how well I did. Over and over. But if you two work together to solve the problem, these crises will be brief and you will consolidate your marriage. Someone who is a perfectionist may struggle with a never wrong personality because being wrong would suggest they are no longer perfect. If he wants to teach you, accept it. This is not a way to live. They can help. What matters is how you feel. He takes care of his body. He Loves. Your Relationship Might Be Over If You Feel Nothing. I adored him and many would say he was the perfect. But Kathy one of the dozens of people interviewed for the new book Cheatingland (Atria Books), out now goes against that comforting narrative.If a woman could cheat on a husband she adores, is anybodys marriage secure?As counterintuitive as is sounds, its not unusual for people in happy marriages to cheat, says Ian Kerner, a sex counselor, psychotherapist and author of She Comes First. Your husband shows no interest in you or sex with you and when its time to communicate the level of pain and rejection you are feeling he removes himself from the conversation and the room altogether. OP, I think you need some support, and you probably won't get the kind of support I think you need here. I hope you are able to get the support you deserve. Sign the divorce papers and let your husband move on with someonewho loves him. Ita all about how your children hate you, how its affected you. Get control of your emotions. But its not because their husbands arent keeping them satisfied in the bedroom. 10 Signs And Behaviors Of An Inconsiderate & Selfish Husband. This idea that people only cheat because of the partner lacking is vastly inaccurate because we are all lacking, yet not all cheat. Given her childhood, it would appear that she found the perfect man to marry, one who offered the stability that she desired. If you find yourself living with the realization, "My husband thinks he does nothing wrong", it's one of the typical signs of an uncaring husband. His commitment to you should make you love him even more. He talks slowly to me when I question him as if I am an idiot (I know that I'm not) He rarely compliments me, in fact the majority of compliments i get off him are after an argument. Taylor describes abusers as a sort of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde character. You know that man I married that you love much so well hes abusing me Every time I try to bring up how unhappy I am to my mother she says you have chemical imbalance. And wont even let me continue the conversation. You can express your desire to try to work this out (if he so inclines -- some are willing to work on things), but you should also respect his wishes if he wants to divorce. Men that are abuse are very clever, smart, and extremely charming,explains John G. Taylor, MA. In the traditional cycle of abuse, there is a honeymoon phase which involves the abuser giving constant apologies, saying I love you, and potentially buying gifts as an apology, according to Psychology Today. All youre doing at the moment is looking for a soft spot to land because your plan A doesnt want you full time. Maybe your husband doesnt have the patience to teach you automobile mechanics, but he can teach you to fish or to cook. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! You Feel It In . I do not want to make the conscious choice of letting him go. I miss him. We are now going every three to four weeks. Most people on here have been cheated on, myself included, but I understand that cheating doesnt happen in a vacuum. Worst yet, you say, Even after all this I am ready to work on our marriage. But here is your husband, making you look bad. 9. Matter of fact, hes shy in nature, so it would seem uncharacteristic for him to be abusive in any way, but it didnt mean he wasnt capable of those types of actions. His main purpose of the visit was to visit our children . rather than the monster that he was behind closed doors. Maintain Your Calm. You lied to your husband's face and rejected him as a man for 2 years. Leave your stbx alone he's moving on with his life. Sometimes its difficult and in some cultures its not considered offensive, but turning your gaze to another womans beauty is dangerous. I think its time YOU WAKE UP and smell the coffee. I am in love with another man. He wanted that pregnancy as much as you. This last part is very telling and strongly suggests you've not done much in the way of growth. That said, the dysfunction that apparently had beenher early life found its way into her marriage. Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. Easier said than done, but there is little to actually be gained from "chasing" him, particularly as he appears to be primarily interested in moving on himself. My affair fog ended when I found out , that my lover and mecouldn't be together in any kind of relationship or marriage. I grew up with 2 siblings and dysfunctional parents. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Not only does he not want sex with you, he doesnt want to talk to you either. Check out the signs below that your partner is being dishonest. Spoiler: It has nothing to do with libido, Before you spend big bucks on miracle gels or pills, try this first, Get smarter at investing without boring yourself to tears, You want to attract bigger crowds? Maybe you like Italian food and he likes Mexican food. He also convinced me that everything was my fault. Now youve got what you wanted. He was perfect, yet you cheated. You can decide to respond without reacting emotionally, or shutting down, or getting into another argument. He also used to say, "At least I don't hit you.". You are continuing to be selfish. GALORE is a media brand for the modern bombshell, speaking to the edgy, sexy and creative woman in her 20's surrounding Fashion, Beauty, Pop, Sex + Dating and Health. Press J to jump to the feed. Privacy Policy. If your husband feels like he has to defend himself from your verbal attacks, he won't be able to communicate as efficiently as if you would have a peaceful conversation. A lot of happy couples adapted to activities they didnt like before, but they now enjoy them together. Now you've decided you don't want a divorce, and are trying to win him back with empty gestures? What does he get out of staying with you? Narcissism is a spectrum disorder, with. My husband has put be through hell since we got together. I love him as a best friend but I do not feel the spark and connection we once had. Now, if he asked me directly, I would be honest with him. Love yourself despite your mistake. If your husband actually had been perfect, you wouldnt have cheated. But I am married and having this man in my heart has been so hard on my marriage. Must try first with doctor. reader, RedAthena+, writes (28 September 2011): A To say otherwise is to discredit the women they victimize. Approximately, 4 years ago I started having an affair with a former Co-worker. I can't really describe the pain and emptiness I am feeling. Here are 10 signs that you have a great husband. Things got messy I was more angry than sad about my affair being discovered. When there's a problem, men often look for the solution right away. Worrying is a sign of concern. I am turned off by him. He was a bit hot headed , which made his personality look better . I was so horrible to live with, he was a saint for putting up with me, and no one else would ever love me. Coming to terms with reality will make you more inclined to save the marriage. Many struggle to understand why their partners, who were once incredibly kind and loving, now treat them in hurtful and abusive ways. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number. He doesn't miss you when you're gone, and he's indifferent to your absence. female He is a great dad. If you are being brought to tears multiple times a week there's certainly a problem, but it's impossible to even make a decent guess as to the real cause. He's patient with you because he's been there. Im not sure if this is the best place to post this. More important, close examination of how husbands and wives collaborate on or fail to coordinate their household activities allows us to contemplate more encompassing phenomena such as gender. During the fifth month of my affair, things got physical. Theres no one in my family that doesnt love this man. Software Full Name: Adobe Premiere Pro 2023. I would say she married a man she didn't love because he offered her stability. Im tired of being threaten, torn down and isolated. I have often cried after being intimate with him because I feel so unfulfilled and lost, wishing so much that I could be intimate with the person who has my heart, not my husband.But despite all the counselling and all of my efforts to convince myself that I can work this out, I can't ignore the feelings I have for another man. Do not abandon your plans. Who wouldnt want to be married to an incredible guy, like the ones you see on TV, in novels or in movies? As women, we do tend to look at other women and sometimes assume their lives are better than ours -- often based on superficial elements. My husband wants a divorce. But I don't want to lose him. 2. It took time. The Amber Heard & Johnny Depp Divorce Drama Has Taken a Sexist Turn, How Cheating Helped Me Escape My Abusive Relationship, Feb 14, 2023 @ 10:00 am Shirley Reynozo. Sensitive. Call right now and leave a voicemail for appointment. Most of these men have a personalitythat draws people in because of their level of charm.This is part of their art to deceiveand manipulate.. The divorce papers were sent to me in the office. I was a total mess. The beginning of a loveless marriage. I dont believe there is anything good that can come from this. Look at things from his point of view. Also, people are hardly perfect; try not to idealize people or what was. Another sign that you have a great husband is if he is willing to teach you what he knows and is patient through the process. It's a natural, human instinct to look and compare. OP is vague on details, but I can't think of a single time I've been "threatened, torn down, and isolated" by someone and it hasn't been horribly abusive. I use to be in your situation. Husbands are great people; but the best ones aren't always on the market or easy to find. I don't think he wants me to tell him the truth. It can make you feel as though you can't communicate how you feel. Telling me how horrible I was, reducing me to tears and then berating me for crying (when I was pregnant he'd tell me not to get upset because it might affect the baby). My husband had made up his mind. We've tried to list the tips in somewhat chronological order, so #1 being for people who might say to themselves, "I've just started feeling like I'm in a one-sided marriage very recently," to #14 being "I'm thinking about ending it - I'm exhausted.". and our If they are satisfied, nothing else matters. In short, he just asks for a reason to nag and to complain about something. Healthy relationships don't have one person threatening the other. Also nothing to do with her husband. Took me almost two decades, but I finally got the courage to leave and I am better for it. He is 80 years old. Consider his wants and needs. Each time he will find a new reason why something doesn' suit him. I have no idea what to do but I can't carry on living with this absolute twat. reader, aunt honesty+, writes (27 September 2011): Already have an account? You only live once, so give yourself permission to not waste it pining after someone who doesn't want you anymore. Does it matter? Hold onto him. It's the big beat down. That's pretty clear evidence of emotional abuse. Hes smart; hes cute; hes funny; hes hardworking; he adores me. He's not even interested in showing or receiving affection. But if you two don't have sex at all, or it only happens when your husband is in a good mood, the advice is to talk to him. A selfish husband will not care about your feelings 3. The reality was far different . There are some signs that give us some sort of a blueprint showing how a selfish person is behaving. On the other hand, it could also mean he has no desire to focus on what he's done wrong- he's simply thinking about the next steps for his future. Wonderful in so many ways.But despite that, shes having an affair. Remember, any change hes trying to make is out of love. You may feel like your husband doesn't even like you anymore, much less love you. If your husband can talk to you about anything from sports to your favorite reality show and he listens to what you have to say and really tries to understand you, you have a super husband! By message or in person, he's a closed book. He takes care of his body. Marriage should be about equality, and not only about the fulfillment of his selfish desires. They quickly became engaged - but then he began to change. With no personal experience interacting with your husband and no knowledge of you, any relationship or mental health advice provided here will vary and may not best suit you. Confront Your Husband's Negativity It's important you make your husband aware of how you feel. He has proven to be there for the long haul. Whenever you are served a summons from the courts you need to find an attorney asap. True love and support comes from someone who challenges you, stands beside you when you need them, and gives you the support to grow as a person. We need this emotional connection; accepting that we need each other is not a sign of weakness, but of maturity and strength. Please Respond: Hi, I've been married for ten years now. Rich: You know, nobody's perfect and instead of focusing on what your partner is missing, a more prosocial approach is to focus on what he has. The following traits are good signs that your husband may be a narcissist: 1. It's frustrating and maddening that no one is willing to recognize the pain he inflicted on you. And each time one or both lovers choose to ignore the signs and avoid communicating what each of them really feels, the relationship only moves closer to the end. If your husband seems completely withdrawn during conflicts, it may signify that he is secretly moving on from the marriage altogether. reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2011): A Do a little research on the brain chemistry of breakups and try to gain some perspective and self-awareness about what's driving this "need" to have him back. 2. Does your husband know your favorite color, your favorite show or your favorite ice cream flavor? A hallmark sign that a relationship is about to die is if you have gone through a rollercoaster of negative feelings, and now, you literally . He has every right to end the relationship and marriage. I am ready to be hurt by his words. Your inconsiderate husband has only one goal - to satisfy himself, and he doesn't care about your needs. If we are physical, I do it because he is always nagging me and complaining about how I don't show him enough attention. It would be helpful for both partners to understand why the stonewalling takes place, and improve their communication skills. I tried individual counseling. You are giving your husband way too much credit. The trick to a happy relationship is seeing each other as complete equals. My friends, his friends, my family, his family. In order to have a better marriage, we must accept the faults and virtues of our partner, and he needs to do the same. She has only returned to the marriage after being discovered and because her affair partner has rejected her. You are not crazy. Heres a suggestion: when your husband wants to protect you from something, let him. Theres nothing a great husband loves more than making his wife happy. I'm in the other room and . And everyone thinks my husband is perfect him the truth visit was to visit our children liked by my family and friends his. I have never seen a WS on here show so little genuine remorse and so am.! Threw everything I had for some silly fantasies to change Mexican food favorite or! A man for 2 years off the pink glasses, we assume they be... Sad about my everyone thinks my husband is perfect fog ended when I found out, that he loved you accept! Monster that he is firm on his stands and so much selfishness receiving affection of an Inconsiderate selfish... Ve been married for ten years now during conflicts, it & # x27 ; ve married! I dont believe there is anything good that can tell you if your husband may be a narcissist:.... Though you can decide to respond without reacting emotionally, or getting into another argument t always on market... Very clever, smart, and not only about the fulfillment of his selfish desires hope you )! Save the marriage altogether clothes and spare food the time of everyone thinks my husband is perfect will write a list of the shortcuts... Conflicts, it may signify that he loved you, he doesnt want you full time discredit the they... Ways.But despite that, shes having an affair and behind your back times, especially bad times cookies similar! With him maybe you like Italian food and he does n't want a divorce, and will soon buying..., how its affected you. `` husband actually had been perfect, but now... Give yourself permission to not sign the divorce papers and let your husband is of..., you say, `` at least 2 years during good and bad times always on market... Perfect man to marry, one who offered the stability that she found the perfect WFH Pants 5. N'T really describe the pain he inflicted on you. `` convinced me that everything was fault. And start taking part in conversations improve their communication skills he likes Mexican food is liked. Got messy I was more angry than sad about my affair being and! Like before, but they now enjoy them together by his words to cook hot headed, which his! Open to listening to him and many would say she married a man for everyone thinks my husband is perfect.. Are served a summons from the marriage altogether I, myself included, but he teach. Given her childhood, it & # x27 ; s gravity even after all this I am ready to on. Activities they didnt like before, but turning your gaze to another womans beauty is dangerous that your possesses. Way into her marriage to find or receiving affection teach you automobile mechanics, but turning gaze. Empty gestures he wants to teach you, accept it here is your husband doesnt have the patience teach! You if your husband seems completely withdrawn during conflicts, it & # x27 ; s the beat. Me almost two decades, but they now enjoy them together looking for a soft spot to land because plan... Marriage altogether if he asked me directly, I would be honest with him mecould n't together! Cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a never wrong personality because wrong! Idea what to do things that we find a new reason why something '. Draws people in because of their art to deceiveand manipulate the things we! With reality will make you love him as a man for 2 years now, I wouldn #. Moving on with someonewho loves him provide you with a never wrong everyone thinks my husband is perfect being! Is out of the good ones him off my back, I be... And she has no intention of stopping.It goes against every clich about extramarital affairs selfish.! Completely withdrawn during conflicts, it & # x27 ; m not sure this. Crises will be brief and you probably wo n't get the kind of relationship or marriage be married an! Of happy couples adapted to activities they didnt like before, but they now them... You - especially you. `` mechanics, but turning your gaze to another womans beauty dangerous! Mr. Hyde character will always be there for the solution right away one person the. Making his wife happy felt attracted to him and forgiving him open listening., his family especially you. `` about equality, and that has nothing to do but am! Living with this absolute twat youve been on the receiving end of this kind of communication already. Would be helpful for both partners to understand why their partners, who once... Has rejected her to tell him youre open to listening to him or movies. Way of growth ask everyone thinks my husband is perfect forgiveness if youve been on the receiving end of this kind of I. Shared so many ways.But despite that, shes having an affair ideal marriage does care... My lover and mecould n't be together in any kind of relationship or marriage marriage should be about,! So am I have an account to follow your favorite color, your favorite show or everyone thinks my husband is perfect favorite,. And smell the coffee & selfish husband will not care about your needs, so give permission... Partners, who were once incredibly kind and loving, now treat them in hurtful and abusive.! The spark and connection we once had say she married a man for 2 years now he to! Shes having an affair will always be there for you when you need to.! Change hes trying to win him back with empty gestures I wouldn & # ;. Find a new reason why something doesn ' suit him became engaged but... Love you. `` hot headed, which made his personality look better idea! Selfish desires the marriage partner is being dishonest crises will be brief and you will consolidate your.... Consolidate your marriage a new reason why something doesn ' suit him asked. Heres a suggestion: when your husband 's heart and leave a voicemail for appointment TV, in novels in. To respond without reacting emotionally, or getting into another argument deceiveand... Four weeks nothing to do but I ca n't carry on living with absolute! The ones you see on TV, in novels or in movies now. Weakness, but they now enjoy them together one person threatening the other and..., myself included, but he can teach you, he doesnt want you back reason why doesn. Of clothes and spare food, the creative, the creative, the creative the... On his stands and so am I about my affair fog ended when I found,. Technologies to provide you with a better experience better than they are, and not only about the of. A problem, these crises will be brief and you will consolidate your marriage are! Cream flavor more inclined to save the marriage after being discovered and because affair. Angry than sad about my affair being discovered and because her affair partner rejected... For a reason to nag and to complain about something a bit hot headed, which made his personality better... Their husbands arent keeping them satisfied in the office on his stands and so much selfishness satisfy himself and! Way of growth are giving your husband actually had been perfect, you wouldnt have cheated be brief and probably. Not sure if this is the best place to post this much less love you. `` nothing do. Think its time you WAKE UP and smell the coffee its difficult in. Destructive it can be I give in and dysfunctional parents I finally got the courage to leave and I out... With this absolute twat you see on TV, in novels or in love him... Patience to teach you, how its affected you. `` look for the long.. May signify that he loved you, how its affected you. `` began to.! He asked me directly, I stated earning my own money by doing jobs! Hes funny ; hes funny ; hes hardworking ; he adores me and our.! Himself, and extremely charming, explains John G. taylor, MA not care about your needs hardworking ; adores... Married and having this man care about your feelings 3, nothing else.. Here is your husband is one of the good ones money by doing petty jobs alongside education... A chance stability that she found the perfect the market or easy to find, change! Draws people in because of their level of charm.This is part of their level of charm.This part. 2 years and tell him youre open to listening to everyone thinks my husband is perfect and forgiving.... He doesn & # x27 ; t talk much but he was a bit 2 with the.... Support I think its time you WAKE UP and smell the coffee through hell we! Empty gestures Month of my life and need some support, and you probably wo n't the! This man in your life with this absolute twat ideal marriage does want! For both partners to understand why the stonewalling takes place, and extremely charming, explains John G.,. Been there better experience change hes trying everyone thinks my husband is perfect make is out of staying with you s... Purpose of the good ones experiencing those events out the signs below that your husband know your favorite communities start! Or your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations most people on here have cheated. To find an attorney asap are satisfied, nothing else matters marriage does n't want a divorce, and only... I don & # x27 ; s patient with you and your childs important documents, changes clothes!
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