My parents were rather picky about my brother’s and my manners, behavior, grammar, and how closely we followed rules and directions.

This could be part of why some children become enraged or upset when they start to notice how other people do things differently from how they understand that they should be done (usually around the preteen or teen years). They are so used to things being one way, and then all of a sudden they see someone doing something differently from how they were taught. As I said, I am on the less severe end of the Autism Spectrum (my verbal communication and cognitive skills are normal or near normal, but I struggle a little bit socially), so that may have played a role in it.

For most preschool and early elementary school age children, the adults and older kids in their lives teach them things in a very concrete manner.

By the tween or teen years, however, most kids who don’t have Autism or pragmatic language difficulties have realized (or are starting to realize) that the rules adults and older kids taught them to follow when they were younger don’t need to be followed in every situation.

However, people with Autism might continue to understand things in a very concrete way well into adulthood unless they have been taught otherwise.

I’m also the oldest child in a family with only 2 children, so that may have also played a role. With the oldest child(ren), a lot of parents are constantly correcting their child’s manners, behavior, and grammar. With every child after that, parents might be more like, “well, as long as it’s not hurting anyone or anything, I’m just going to let it go.”

I have Asperger Syndrome (milder end of Autism Spectrum, now just called Autism Spectrum Disorders or Social Communication Disorders), and a lot of people on the Autism Spectrum have difficulty coping when things are different from what we’re used to. Many of us also have difficulty not reprimanding or tattling on others, when they don’t do what we feel is right, or what we have been taught is right. 3rd or 4th grade (age 8-9) was about when I started noticing how the teachers and the other kids did things differently from how I was taught to do them, or how I understood that they should be done. That was around the time when my body started changing, so that may have played a role in me noticing how other people do things differently.