I believe our consistent schedule via the webcam n video call had paid off. Do it now. A very sleepy baby may accept a bottle without even realizing it, so if your baby's resisting, try slipping in that target near the end of a nap, when she's still half asleep. I was scared of her! I have a 11 month old little girl. Parental separation anxiety is normal, especially when going back to work after maternity leave. As soon as I pass him to someone else he is quiet immediately. Its putting a lot of strain on our relationship. But doesnt mean that you should just sit and wait! Its all new to me and its hard to mother when youre only 22. I wake him up with a bottle in the morning and put him to bed with a massage and kisses and rocking at night. It started off with biting and scratching and now she is hitting me. And I was the one at home. it has been like this for over a year now & i now just resent them. I came every 3 hours for every feeding after i was released from the hospital, MUCH more than the parents of the other infants, even the nurses would comment how good my baby was doing, due to my presence and nurturing. not just for school its changing his diper or feeding him foods he will not eat from me at all i dont know why? Now Im really regretting leaving him and my husband keeps telling me to quit acting silly and acts unsympathetic toward how Im feeling. I thought my daughter was the only one to behave this way. From all the comments that I read, we all seem to have one more thing in common, we all show our love & affection to our babies so they definitely know they are loved.. We may not do much and I am stern when it comes to bad behavior but she cries a lot and asks where daddy is. This can make a toddler feel like mom has been taken away or even rejected. Awaken his interest by laying down on the floor and playing with his toys, start kicking a ball, or whatever will catch his interest. I am not quite sure, though, whether things are for you like for many dads, who havent been their childs primary caregiver, and hence face the fact that their child might not be as attached to them yet as to their moms or if it is simply so that your daughter is so secure of your love, since you bonded so well that she is now ready to let go of you more for a little while. xxx. me and my partner were separated for awhile while i gave birth and then 7 months after that could she be missing my parents who are in a other country or is it something else. But I really found some comfort when I found this thread and read about other parents similar experiences. Even worse, today my husband and I took her to the baby classes, she suddenly refused me to hold her and wanted my husband only. Kiss him and love him non stop. Hi my daughter is 4months old.She only goes to her paternal grandmother.Whenever i try to take her on my lap she starts crying badly. Like many of you, I am a working mother who loves her baby girl more than anything in the world. Those five weeks where he preferred his daddy over me where the hardest things Ive had to face since becoming a mum. Never has. When he comes home, her face glows in a way that its never glowed for me. Praise your wife when she manages to be cool about it it isnt easy! Is that true? I am so confused and sad. i try to spend the most of my time with her but maybe its not enough, i wish i knew where i went wrong. Very hopeful! If this has happened to you, you might be sad, worried, and frustrated. Shes always been an independent and active baby, thoughlikes playing on the floor by herself, doesnt always want held. Dont worry. So who knows, within a month, you might be carrying a whining little daughter all day long. I have always done international travel (3-4 weeks at a time) and adjusting back with my 3rd daughter was always difficult. I am depressed. Find reliable childcare Getting childcare is one of the toughest aspects of going back to work. I think she knows that her father always comes back when Im around. What can i do to get my daughter back? If she reaches for her dad or someone else, let her go without showing your pain. lying down or the underarm hold). One thing's for sure: he wants nothing to do with you. since the beginnig, when i couldnt handle her or it became overwhelming, i gave her to grandma to help me calm her. Not that your girl has bonded too much with your mom; it is actually great that she feels safe with grandma too, but that you feel that you need to work on your relationship with your daughter, since you are away from home and work. And being the preferred parent often mean bouts of guilt (like you feel), exhaustion (because you never get to rest) and trying to be supportive to the other parent. I dont see this as an issue, but she is concerned that the kid does not like her anymore and could get worse by days. 7) Be patient with yourselfat home and at work. I am drained to the point where I even when am not with her she plays with her grand mother or even neighbors. it was really a funny yet a touching experience for us. First thing to remember is to feed the baby. So much for breastfeeding and bonding. Sometimes I just want to give up and let her be. Otherwise, you will reinforce her wishes to put distance between the two of you and her wish to go to the other person, where does not experience any bad emotions. Peek-a-boo. And when were playing all together on the floor he always goes to her over me. I feel so much for you! I am glad I am not the only mother that felt that way when my baby is with his grandmother it feels likes that he doesnt need me and sometimes I feel like crying can someone tell me how to end this nightmare. And console her when she is sad. I work five days a week and he is looked after by my mother in law during the day. I just left my 4-month-old son for the first time overnight with my parents. Paula, do you think its because of the association with bad things?? hi.. i am a mother of 6 month old twin boys. She is not a competitor and never will be only you are his mom! Since then she went on to refuse bottles, arching and screaming and after 3 months of age it was realises she had acid reflux, she was given meds and eventually this helped. Make sure you give her 100% of your attention for at least 30 minutes each day and have FUN together during those 30 minutes. This will help you to feel connected with your baby. Im in need of some help here. Anyway, Im not writing to give a full update on my situation but instead I wish to respond to your posts. I dont think putting your whole life in a more stressful state by moving should be your first choice, in case living with your mom works well in all other aspects. Pls help. Many babies go through periods when only one of the parents will do it can be either the mom or the dad. I guess i am being silly. Its the opposite of what you think. Even if hes holding her and I try to give her a kiss, she turns away and gets upset. Hang in there! I feel very bad. Been that way for the past year now. I felt so upset, My 18 month baby boy really likes his dad than me. It really hurts and more so because i am going through so many medical problems after my pregnancy. It's no secret that returning to work after the birth of your child can be overwhelming. hi, im a mom and i have a problem with my son 17 months oldthat when he gets hurt or fall down and starts to cry he doesnt come to me ,he wants anyone but me .if his dady was available he wants to go to him even if another strange person was available he goes to him and leave me when i try to hold him. Lets look at why a baby rejects mom after going back to work, and some helpful tips on what to do about it! As there are lots of conflicting priorities, it is hard to say when it is the right time. Being 18 months old, your daughter is in an age where turning out towards the world is a natural development. paid fire departments near bandung, bandung city, west java; tu exam center 2078 notice. Or give me some advice so she wont freak out on me like she does? When I am in the US, I try to work from home on most days so I can spend time with my children. Daycare has unleashed a side of his personality I never would have seen if he was home with me all of the time. Also get yourself a baby sling and carry her around as much as you can while running around. I would really urge you to sit back and think hard on what limits are absolutely necessary for you to set and what you can let go of right now. But if we can handle it as adults, and give our children both love and space no matter what, I am certain that our long-term relationship AND bother their and our personal development will benefit. I know that very well! I take care of my son and love him and do the very best I can. Every experience is different, but generally, it takes around six weeks to feel relief from most postpartum symptoms after having a baby. And I swear to g-d it feels like hes being a jerk on purpose sometimes. Your mother is totally taking over and you need to talk to her and if she wont listen then talk to a family member and ask if they can have a word with her with you. My mom stayed with me for the first four months to help me out. Whereas, with her, he SCREAMS. There are studies showing that babies that are being held a lot actually become independent faster. Someone said to no rely on your child to feel loved and valuable, thats easier said than done. I guess I just dont want this type of behavior to flow into other areas of her life. It hurts to see my mother be the preferred one when I try just has hard to be noticed! Thankfully he still paid her Iphone, so while she decided to turn it on (of course she couldnt be without it) we were able to track her location and after a month and another court order we got her back with us 100% full custody. Ive made the comment to my husband on several occasions, but now that my daughter is 3 and expresses herself verbally it is really affecting me. Try to let her keep it any way you can (but not on the phone for such a little girl). Hi I dont know why she it is getting upset at me and no one else. Hi sad dad, Offensively taken, it means that im not a good mother!? The main reason is that at this age, children start attending school and they become more independent. Read on for tips on how to make it work for you and your baby. Please help..I think I am loosing my mind.. It took effort from all of us to get to where we are now, but forgiving each other and moving on as responsible adults to give our boy a good life, is one of the best things Ive done in my life.). Talk to your employer to determine the frequency and length of federally-protected pumping breaks. It makes me feel that its just a natural thing for some children to have a preference, but I hope it is just a phase cause I cant cope with it. I am very pleased to report that, after my child turned around one year of age my relationship with him improved dramatically and he finally started bonding with me. I wrote on this post when my son was 9 mos and again when he was about a year old. even though i felt rejected i didnt stop trying to hold her or trying to play with her. My husband and mother care for him while Im gone (Mon-Fri 12-7pm). This could change any day. I bathe with her, I nurse her, I stay up with her in the wee hours of the night, I sing to her, I play with her, I carry her, I feed her, I change her I cannot fathom how she could possible love her caregiver or father more than me. Yeah, as you can see, it is common! Even for biological parents, bonding is something that happens over time. But my 14month old is obsessed with his dad and it totally kills me. Please dont give up on your babies. Skin contact is great for bonding. It is an intensive period. Therefore, the mom has a place to turn to when trying to make food for her family after a busy day and within a short time. But, I do know I cant wallow. Chances are that he will start to listen and co-operate much better if you have more fun together. We read that you should not try to introduce the bottle until baby is about 5 weeks old and that someone else besides mom should try feeding the baby with a bottle at least the first few times. I had to go back to work part time at 6weeks, but have been 100% available and loving and devoted every second I have free. We have great fun when its just the two of us, playing and laughing. I KNOW your baby loves you. Hi all i am the farther to my 15 month old son & he is a loving child at home but as soon has we go to his Nana & granddads house he doesnt want to no me. 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